I'm already tired of reading mock draft posts, and the mundane arguments of RGIII vs. Colt McCoy, Blackmon vs. Trading Down, trading up, Peyton Mannings likely landing place, Matt Flynn's value, and free agency is still a couple of weeks away. Getting old already, and it's only February. So, when I read the quoted posts below in another thread it inspired me.
What if the Browns finally did reach The Promised Land in say, 2014? That's the year The Super Bowl to be held in the new Meadowlands Stadium. It's only a straight-shot 8 hour drive from Cleveland, and New York City is one hell of a town to party in. I chose Detroit as an opponent only because I thought it would be kind of cool for both towns to end their Super Bowl drought together. I'm sure the networks would not be amused.
So, the Browns are finally in the Super Bowl.......
What do you do?
Well, if you are J.W. you..
Crap my pants , then strip down and run the Vegas Strip before the Heart Attack or the Cops could catch me.
If you are Dawg Nuts?
My plan is to sit and sob tears of joy, wearing nothing but my Joe Thomas jersey, until the following morning.Then I’m driving to Cleveland.
Me? After the initial shock wore off and I was finally able to stop crying tears of joy, I'd get down to business. I told my wife long before we were married that I had a credit card with a very high limit and no balance earmarked for just this occasion. I still do. I intend to use this card for every Super Bowl related expense that can be dreamed of. I'm talking no inhibitions, no sensor, no little guy in a white gown with wings and a halo sitting on one shoulder - just the little horned version with the pitchfork on both shoulders - chanting "Party-Party!". I'm talking about good tickets inside the 40's, the Playboy pregame party and the Maxim post-game. Limo service and First Class air. I'm "all in" baby!
Now it's your turn. What would you do?
This is a fan-created post. Dawgs By Nature assumes no responsibility for the content listed.
2 recs | 121 comments
i said it before: i’ll be in cleveland watching the game.
pwndabear - February 12, 2012
with my father. at a bar.
pwndabear - February 13, 2012
This is a very good answer.
notthatnoise - February 13, 2012
I think I’d rather be in a bar in Cleveland than actually at the game. I’ve said it my whole life, but there isn’t a place I enjoy more than a room of Cleveland sports fan when something actually goes right.
DisplacedBuckeye - February 16, 2012
this has never happened in the history of the universe.
pwndabear - February 16, 2012
You are missing one heck of an annual beer event here in Cleveland…..
http://www.thebrewkettle.com/shop/ontap.asp
DaveDawg09 - February 16, 2012
WHAT THE HELL WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED OF THIS SOONER
pwndabear - February 17, 2012
southern tier creme brulee tastes like garbage. peach lambic tastes like garbage. i havent looked further than that.
pwndabear - February 17, 2012
My wife loves North Coast Old Stock, and she just polished off a growler of Founders Breakfast Stout a couple of days ago. The food at the Kettle is damn good too. Guess I know where we’ll be having lunch tomorrow.
Kaner - February 17, 2012
I take a 1/2 day off of work the Friday of this event every year. I’ll be there by 1:00 today to try to polish of the entire board by way of sampler. The beef ribs are back on the special Ogrefest menu this week too – yum-yum.
DaveDawg09 - February 17, 2012
I’m more interested in Imperial Stouts, Double and Tripple IPA’s and things like that than the foo foo beers. I probably won’t even try those.
DaveDawg09 - February 17, 2012
Do you drink the Belgians? Not talking lambics but the dubble and tripels.
Kaner - February 18, 2012
I try them, but usually they are still a little sweet for my taste.
DaveDawg09 - February 18, 2012
Bells Hop Slam tastes like heaven.
notthatnoise - February 18, 2012
The only IPA I enjoyed more at Ogrefest was the Racer X. Awesome.
DaveDawg09 - February 18, 2012
I just bought a sampler case of Wolaver’s Organic Ales, by Otter Creek Brewing. Pretty good stuff.
Dawg Nuts - February 18, 2012
Don’t they make a gluten free beer too? Tried it once. I must like gluten in my beer…..
DaveDawg09 - February 18, 2012
I think so. Not sure about the ones we got, I’ll have to check the box.
Dawg Nuts - February 19, 2012
I have a similar credit card. I think me n my wife will see you there.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 12, 2012
I like the Lions as an opponent. Should be an advantage playing outdoors in the cold, possible snow or worse, freezing rain. Hope we have a few healthy backs and a solid run defense. Odds aren’t good for another winter like this one.
DawgsNHawgs - February 13, 2012
You should have been a meteorologist.
Dawg Nuts - February 13, 2012
Maybe he is.
notthatnoise - February 13, 2012
Willard Scott?
Dawg Nuts - February 13, 2012
Dick Goddard.
notthatnoise - February 14, 2012
I would do things aren’t appropriate to say here.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
you’re among friends.
pwndabear - February 13, 2012
I’d probably be watching it in Cleveland with all of my friends. I’m assuming we would all be running through the streets in a mixture of screams, laughter, and tears of joy.
Adrock2099 - February 13, 2012
I would make my way to Cleveland, find somewhere elevated, and watch the riot.
notthatnoise - February 13, 2012
Great idea for a fanpost by the way. It’s nice to talk about something else.
notthatnoise - February 13, 2012
There’s gunna be a scene. Martial Law.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNm5drtAQXs
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
You friggin’ jerk. Don’t ever send me to a Fall Out Boy video again.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
You love it and want to go to the superbowl with me n Dave.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
I’m not changing adult diapers at the super bowl.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
Yeah
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
Plus I have a better shot getting to do coke off a hooker’s ass with you guys not around.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
You have a better shot shot doing coke off a hooker’s ass with me around.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
While my wife watches.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
You’re right. Walking around with someone who looks like Bob Barker could be beneficial.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
Lmao….42 vs 82…Dick.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
haha
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
Telling u….Hot penny…..Shiny….
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
Well his money would be.
HenryDawg - February 13, 2012
Why does it get recs when people call me a jerk? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
I was being jokingly serious.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
Go root for Phil….I did yesterday.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
Mickelson…
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
I thought you were a Woods guy.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
Phil can go to hell.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
Like I said…go root for Phil. Jokingly seriously.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
Did he also snub you in the pisser?
Dawg Nuts - February 13, 2012
lol, no. I just don’t like him.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
You know Phil’s nickname within the tour?
DaveDawg09 - February 13, 2012
Since you’re not biting I’ll throw out some more bait……some of the other tour pro’s call Phil “FIGJAM”. It’s an acronym. Feel free to throw out a guess as to what it stands for….
DaveDawg09 - February 14, 2012
Fill It. Gasoline? JA Man.
Adrock2099 - February 14, 2012
Fat Idiot Golfer that’s Just About Money?
Brownie's Year - February 14, 2012
Never mind. I searched it.
Brownie's Year - February 14, 2012
“F—- I’m great, just ask me”
Bernie19Kosar - February 14, 2012
I thought FIGJAM was something left over when Lefty wiped his arse.
Kaner - February 14, 2012
97,000 hits in 11 days for a 2 year old video. Don’t tell me DBN doesn’t reach further than you might think.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 24, 2012
I would streak through my town wearing nothing but a browns cap, then I would go and try to tear down the fieldgoal posts in cleveland and drag them into lake erie. Then i would try to get a girl to have sex with me. If that doesn’t work ill go to chipotle.
UnSafe 70 - February 13, 2012
LMAO
Since, everyone knows some of the things I’d do, I’ll go on the assumption that I neither got caught by the cops nor had the heart attack and that would all happen the weekend of the AFC Championship game. Come on, streakers are nothing new in vegas, and most people would think it was part of some show anyways.
I would be in NYNY for the SB game, have good tickets, party like I was 22 again, after the win – I’d have a quality high priced hooker lined up (with wifes permission) and really party like I was 22 again. Then I would hopefully be able to drive to Maryland and barf out all of that quality liquor on top of Art’s grave & have someone take a good picture.
J. W. - February 13, 2012
so you should plan ahead for this wondrous occasion: pinto or black beans, medium, mild or hot salsa, and did you want a combo?
pwndabear - February 13, 2012
White or brown rice?
notthatnoise - February 13, 2012
I’m not that into the brown rice, but I eat it anyway because I guess its better for you.
HenryDawg - February 13, 2012
Better get some Chipotle-Away!
Vududawg - February 16, 2012
BTW Dave – WE win the game!!!!!!! Whats the sense of waiting all of that time to lose to Detriot? Come on, Detriot? I’d rather go buy a Hyundai, it’ll last longer and get me better gas mileage.
J. W. - February 13, 2012
OMG you lost me….Ford guy all the way…my truck was made in Kentucky.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
Oof, must resist urge to get started on the fallacy that is buying “American.”
Adrock2099 - February 13, 2012
My truck was manufactured in KY. I can’t speak for where all the parts came from. If you want to keep jobs here.. spend a couple bucks for things made here. I really don’t want to get political.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
My wifes Hyundai was built in Mississippi with most of its parts built in the USA. It’s more American than my Dad’s Chevy.
J. W. - February 13, 2012
This is completely acceptable sir.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
Thank You Sir. Ford does make a good truck….
J. W. - February 13, 2012
Well then, go ahead and stick with Ohio and buy a Honda.
RyanBr - February 19, 2012
Well, that was just presumed. Look at it this way though; if The Browns did lose, it would only take about 2 hrs. for a couple thousand of us to drive up to Detroit, start ringing doorbells and goin all B19K on Lions fans. Then we could crash their parties, Rothelisburger and pillage while we help them burn their whole city down (again)!
DaveDawg09 - February 13, 2012
Doesn’t take much to get them to burn stuff. We can only go “Rothelisburger” with a State Police escort to guard the bathroom don’t forget. The Staties in Penn did themselves really proud there I tell you.
J. W. - February 13, 2012
I guess it’s only in PA where the authorities are there to protect you during rape, rather than from.
(apologies to D.N., the joke was just too easy. )
DaveDawg09 - February 13, 2012
The incident took place in Georgia not Penn.
ol skol dawg - February 20, 2012
And his “bodyguards” were off duty Penn. State Troopers.
DaveDawg09 - February 20, 2012
You’re right, that means all law enforcement in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is corrupt.
Dawg Nuts - February 21, 2012
Easy there, just bustin chops. My whole family is made up of current and retired Cleveland Cops. Like any line of work, there are good and bad. The bad don’t deserve to be defended or excused, no matter the locale.
DaveDawg09 - February 21, 2012
Agree.
Dawg Nuts - February 22, 2012
9 months later I’d name my child Bernie. I don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy.
Maybe Griffin, depending on what kind of game he has.
nickjs21 - February 13, 2012
Just make it’s middle name “RG3”
macdowellm03 - February 13, 2012
A. I would watch the game with the same two guys I watch every Browns game with, my Dad and Brother.
B. I imagine there would be way to many hugs and tears.
C. I would come to DBN, rec every single post on here. MF everyone who didn’t want RG3, and get banned from Behind The Steel Curtain by responding to every comment “how’s my ass taste?”
D. Flag every single TLP post that says “we didn’t deserve to win”.
E. Hug my neighbor.
F. Get my car out of Holmgren’s office.
G. Get my ass to Cleveland for the parade.
H. Die happy.
Not that I have had this planned for years or anything…
Bernie19Kosar - February 13, 2012
C and E were my favorite. DBN might go down from the sudden rush of traffic.
notthatnoise - February 13, 2012
We would get crushed.
Bernie19Kosar - February 13, 2012
I would make the trip to Texas (after the game and said defecation in Maryland), ring my Steeler loving brothers doorbell, drop my shorts and drop one for him right there, and then ask “hows my ass taste Bitch”.
J. W. - February 13, 2012
Fantastic. Comment of the month.
Dawg Nuts - February 13, 2012
Outstanding. And JT knows your neighbor would appreciate it after all he’s been through.
JustBob - February 13, 2012
The celebration would dwarf “Bottlegate” in it’s druken craziness.
J. W. - February 13, 2012
I would run outside screaming “HELL YEAH! CLEVELAND, MF’ERS!”
emily522 - February 13, 2012
Woah, you’re hardcore.
Brownie's Year - February 13, 2012
make sure to put down your chipotle first. dont want to spill any cilantro rice on your lawn.
pwndabear - February 13, 2012
This would fit better with the rest of the comments if you added nudity and something about the flavor of your ass.
DaveDawg09 - February 13, 2012
Dawg food flavor.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
Sorry, caught in the moment.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 13, 2012
This was hilarious.
notthatnoise - February 14, 2012
BTW Em, hope you didn’t take this the wrong way. We are all “Dawgs” by nature.
The New Kardiac Kids - February 20, 2012
Cotton Candy flavor?
J. W. - February 14, 2012
sexual harrassment charges
pwndabear - February 14, 2012
that makes me a sad panda
Adrock2099 - February 14, 2012
I would break numerous UCMJ violations by flying back home without any notice to my chain of command even if I’m deployed at the time. Then I would spend a happy 20+ years in prison.
Brownsbacker488 - February 13, 2012
You may have to explain the UCMJ to some of the civilians in the audience. I have visions of a Destroyer dropping anchor next to the USS Cod…….
DaveDawg09 - February 13, 2012
Uniform Code of Military Justice. Rules to live by, or else!
Kaner - February 13, 2012
It’s a hugely scaled down version of the constitution that basically gives you No FRIGGIN rights, while you are a military person. You cannot tell the boss to F off, he can put you in jail..
J. W. - February 14, 2012
But he can’t put you on bread and water for more than three days!
JustBob - February 14, 2012
We’ll send you a red cross message coded with “art modell died – please come home.” You will know what to do from there. Emergency leave will be granted!
browndawgbacker - February 15, 2012 via iPhone app
Since I’d be in college at that time, I’d drive home from wherever I am and watch it with my dad. It’s just something I need to experience with him.
I’m not an emotional guy, but I’d probably cry.
tr1betime - February 13, 2012
Well I’d probably hope I could come back here and share some of the happiness with you guys… Y’all are the only browns fans I’ve ever known. I’d cry… I wouldn’t be the run around and yell and streak cry, I’d be the silently sit down and quietly weep in to my hands cry. Idk. I don’t even let myself think about most of the time. I get a little emotional when I do.
troy145 - February 14, 2012
I think I would probably just sit and smile for a few hours. I also would not be censoring much on DBN.
notthatnoise - February 15, 2012
The suitcase of supplies from “fear and loathing in las Vegas” comes to mind. Followed by dynamite, fire trucks, hookers, etc. Also followed by lifetime ban from meadowlands stadium and considerable time working for the state of NJ in their license plate manufacturing program.
browndawgbacker - February 14, 2012 via iPhone app
Since the closest i’ve come to entertain those thoughts and feelings since the Kosar era was that putrid wildcard game in pissburgh, I honestly can’t say what I would do. If it was against DET I might check to make sure we hadn’t timewarped back to the 50s.
I believe the Lions and Browns are the only 2 teams that have been around since the SB era and have never made it there – if you don’t consider us an expansion team, that is. It would be cooler than cool to erase that stat in one game… with a Browns win of course.
Vududawg - February 17, 2012
I just hope I don’t spontaneously combust… that’d be my friggin’ luck.
Mal Reynolds - February 17, 2012
your… ANDREW LUCK???!!!?!??!
pwndabear - February 17, 2012
YOU ARE… correct sir!
Mal Reynolds - February 17, 2012
No, MY Andrew Luck.
notthatnoise - February 18, 2012
In one of my seasons of madden, i played det in the superbowl. i also had AP
Chalmdeezy - February 17, 2012
I see it already. Colt handing the ball off to Richardson and he taking it in for 6. Taking a lead 20-16 with .53 seconds left in the game. Then defense stops them and wins the Superbowl. GO BROWNS GO!!!!!!
browndogs - February 19, 2012
Flag for Richardson.
tr1betime - February 20, 2012
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